you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
