This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
