We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
