Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
