just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
