We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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