the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
