Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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