Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
