so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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