I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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