She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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