I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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