I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
