o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
