He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
