2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
