On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
