Someone shit on the floor
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
