Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
