You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
