Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
