i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize