Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
