did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize