my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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