The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
