So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
