I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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