East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i would punch a child for taco bell
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you win again, gameday.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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