and she was petting her beer can
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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