But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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