Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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