Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
