sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
