i think my mom watched the whole time
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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