This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
