I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
