I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
