I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
