it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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