You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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