Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize