Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When are your genitals available?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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