I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
