Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
