I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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