goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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