my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
