Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
