I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
