***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
