While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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