Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
