the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
