Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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