I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
