Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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