I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I came so hard my ears popped.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
