i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Found the puke drawer
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
