never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
