I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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