I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
