my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
