What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
