I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
