The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
