can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
